It’s Okay, Dammit!!

Being a widow sucks

Being a widow sucks

Being a widow sucks!

We sit alone, filling our days and nights with tears and memories as we give up on our tomorrows.  Or we run in circles like fools, taking on more work than we have time to do – so that we don’t have the energy to think about tomorrow.  Or we fall into other arms…any other arms…desperate for all that we’ve lost.

It’s four years since I lost my wonderful Mike. I spent three years writing a book about widowhood and another year getting it ready to print. It’s finished now, and through it I’ve learned a lot about being more than a widow. And what I’m here to say is that…


* It’s OK to be angry. Those of us lucky enough to have known true love have a right to be flat out pissed-off over losing it!

* It’s OK to be happy. Dammit ! We don’t have to JUST cry. It’s OK to find things that make us laugh out loud!

* It’s OK to be a 3rd Wheel and it’s OK to be alone. And to hell with anybody who says we shouldn’t go wherever we damn well please!

* It’s OK to still be in love with our late husband, to talk about him and keep special things of his. And to hell with  anybody who get’s uncomfortable because we do.

* It’s OK to get rid of things he loved and change our life to suit us. It’s our life, It’s OK

* And It’s OK to miss sex, to want it again – with or without love. It’s OK to find sex again, or even love! We’re physical beings. We’re widows, but we’re more than just widows….we’re WOMEN!

It’s OK, Dammit!